Please edit my Catcher in the Rye essay? 10 points! Please?

-Here is the link to my essay on adulthood in Catcher in the Rye:



https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZaIl鈥?/a>



If you could please just read it (2-3 minutes) and tell me briefly what I should fix, I would be INFINITELY GRATEFUL! Thank you very much! :)



Also, if you could recommend a good conclusion, that would also be amazing.Not to brag, but my teacher tells me to expect an A* at GCSE English.. so with that in mind..

1. REALLY cut down your quotes. They need to be short and succinct. For the future (could be hard now seeing as you've already written the essay) you could try 'incorporating' phrases or words within the sentences? E.g. If you are making a point about something, grab your novel and find an exact quote or even word that backs up your point. The way I learnt this was P.E.E, point, evidence, explain. By incorporating the three together (rather than separately in the paragraph) you'll gain higher marks for your essay writing and structure.

2. To go with my first point, put your quotes in quotation marks!!

3. As for conclusions, (I'm not too great) I normally sum up the main points that were introduced in the introduction and summarise what I've said within the essay. (If that makes any sense at all!!)



Other than that, though, your essay has really good structure and points, but you really just need to stick to the main points that you can really back up with quotations!! Well done! Message me what mark you get!! :DI just skimmed for immediate errors, and I didn't find any. The biggest thing I saw was, and I don't know what your teacher says about this, you didn't use quotation marks on your quotes. I don't know if your teacher would mark you down on that or not, but I'd put them there anyway.



Hope that helped!